The whole process of pre-deployment preparation. We had the Unit meeting a couple days ago. It brought it home that the time is near. Wills, POA's, Daddy date nights. Everything that needs to get done and very little time to do it. So we're trying to be smart about things this time. 4th times the charm I guess lol.
I guess it took the meeting to make it seem real again. You know after a while you get used to having him home. 11 months of having him home. I totally took advantage of that time and I don't mean that in a positive way. Times have been hard. Between us I mean. I guess marriage is just hard, but for some reason our seems harder then others. I wonder if everyone feels that way? He comes home then there's the "honeymoon" stage. That didn't last long. Then there's the tense argumentative stage, things change so much when they're gone. The kids change, I change....he changes. Then now when things are settling down, he has to leave again.
We can go through the whole "you knew what you signed up for" conversation and people say to stop griping about it. But even when you do "sign up" for something it's doesn't mean the transitions you're having to go through all the time are easy ones. It's hard. I'm not complaining I'm just stating a fact. I do what I do because I am damn proud to be a Navy Wife. I'm proud of what my husband does. Of what he stands for, of his sacrifice. It just gets challenging sometimes. Like now. We're in for weeks of challenges coming up. I think about when we're going to tell our daughter, she'll be 4 soon, she understands more. My 13 year old will be man of the house again. He accepts that role without complaint. I have to remember that this time is difficult for him, he tries to be so strong and I sometimes have to remind him it's ok to be sad....to miss him. Our youngest, only 19 months, well it remains to be seen how this is going to go. Thankfully I have family that lives close. Our oldest, 20 and getting ready to enlist himself soon. My Grandson and his Mommy. My life is full. I have good friends, not a lot but a few very close gals that I cherish with all my heart. My parents, brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews only a couple hours away.
I am lucky. I know that. I have a support system, but not all understand. The highs and lows that come naturally. The days where I just don't want to get out of bed, the days where I'm so happy you think something is definitely wrong. The kids going through their "bratty" days and me giving them the freedom to act out. We do what works for us. Days are hard, some days are easy, but we each experience it in totally different ways. It's the beginning. So here we go, we're in for a wild ride ;-).
