Thursday, March 29, 2007

Why...

does he become the person I want him to be, the father I know he can be when he's leaving? Why does it take him going away to spend the time, have the fun that he should be having with them all the time. Does he do this on purpose, does he want to make it harder to say good-bye? Or is it just kickin in that he's not doing what he should be doing on a daily basis? I guess I should just count my blessings that he does this at all. This way they have some special time and make some memories with him before he leaves.

It came so fast

At first it was months away, then weeks, now it's right around the corner. I can't sleep, to many thoughts running around inside my head. I'm downstairs tapping away on my computer but I know he's up there. Sleeping, snoring away until he wakes up to enjoy his last day off in the morning. There's a comfort that comes over me knowing that I can walk up there right now and wrap my arms around him. That comfort will be gone soon. My heart has been on protective mode. Not wanting to admit I'm going to miss him so much. We had a bbq this past weekend and family said their good-byes. He spent some quality time with the kids this week. I think even our youngest knows something is going on. Such a young mind and she comprehends the tension so well.
I always say, I'm ready. I'm ready for the challenges that I know will come up while he's gone. The ones I'll have to tackle on my own. Every time he leaves, it's exciting and scary as hell all wrapped into one. So many different feelings my mind, my heart is dealing with right now. I don't have enough time to sort them all out right now so I'll pack them away and deal with them once he's gone.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Choices

We all make them. Everyday is a new oppotunity to either improve one's life or somehow screw it up by the coices we make. I wake up and come to the computer and sign on and words escape me so I choose not to write anything. Then as my days go on I realize I'm just keeping so much bottled up inside. What am I afraid of. Why do I not speak what's on my mind. What do I think I'll come to realize. Will the choices I've made in my life be the wrong one's after all. This life that I choose, this life that I love(and sometimes hate). Sometimes what we love isn't always the best for us.
Choices, I think I have a lot ahead of me.

  © Blogger template 'Darken' by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP