Release

It’s always temporary but at least it’s something.
Sometimes I feel the walls closing in on me and I just want to scream.
This weekend I allowed myself to scream,
Even if only in my own head.
I let my walls down for a little while.
All at the same time while making sure I didn’t expose too much.
Open and shut at the same time.
I guess it is possible.
I felt a freedom that I remember from when I was young
That freedom that can only result in something going wrong
It’s not doom I’m feeling or negativity, just being real.
I know me.
If I get to comfortable doing something I will do it in excess.
So I am back to trying to control things.
The same things that are so totally out of control
How did I allow myself to get to this place again?
I’ll have to figure that out.