so much

has happened. The loss of my Grandma has sent me for a loop. I loved her so much and there is just such a void. Right now I feel so lost. They say be happy, she's in a better place. I say, screw that she should still be here with us. 90 years. What a ride. I just wish it hadn't happened so fast. It was too fast. My heart wasn't able to grasp the thought of her not being here. I think being with Mom and Dad I put my emotions on pause. I shed the occasional tear here and there but not allowing myself to feel it. Now here at home, it's consumed me. I tell myself, "Christine, get a grip". I know I will, but for now, I hurt.