Sleep Deprived

This is how I'm feeling today. Half of me is awake and the other half in a fog. No sleep is not a good thing. Going to be an interesting day. Have I said how much I hate not having a car. Now that hubby is home and the van is still broke down we are stuck here. No ones fault but my own. Should have planned better. So sell the van, buy hubby a lil' something to get him to and from work and keep the Malibu for the myself. That should all happen after we get our tax returns. Ahhh the joy of actually getting some money back. Of course if we didn't have the kids we would be paying out our ass. Another good reason to procreate lol. Bella needs a Mommy and Me day today. I sometimes wonder how much I have screwed her up. She is such an emotional being. I mean she's seven for god's sake. What does she have to be sad/depressed about? So later on I will take her to the mall and we will spend some quality alone time. Have a chat and I will once again try to figure out what's going on in that head of hers. I mentioned the hubby is home. That's been interesting. We will find our groove, it's just taking some time. It's different this time. I kind of think we jinxed ourselves, planning for the happy ending that comes at the end of a good romantic novel. Not realizing we have to dig through the muck to get to that point. I'm not worried though, I think we know each other well enough that we'll figure it out. I hope. My seventeen year old is suffering through his first heartbreak. It sucks. Wish I could take all his hurt for him. Tell him what the right thing to do is. I have to separate myself when I don't want to. He needs to figure this one out on his own. I think this is one of the hardest things a Momma bear ever has to do.  Let them spread their wings and make their own decisions whether we agree with them or not. Just have to be here. OK as I try to unscramble what is going on in my head i have to remember my promise to myself. No editing just hit [publish. Mistakes and all. This is going to be an interesting day. I need sleep.  :-P


It's 1/4/2011 at 0903 Ready or not...GO