broken

I hate this feeling that things are never going to get better. That I will never have to stop faking it and just, live. I feel like every thought, every action I make is the wrong one. Like a broken glass thrown against the wall and shattered into pieces. Wishing I was like the Iron Giant and able to piece everything together again, to feel whole. I've forgotten how that feels. To not question every motive, every feeling, every thought. The feeling of wanting to give up but knowing I would hurt too many people in the process.  That thought makes me feel so weak, so, broken. Then I remember what they say "broken pieces of glass reflect more light". So my goal is to find that light. The light that guides me forward without the negative thoughts creeping in. The light that shines through the dark rooms my mind tends to wander. Finding that place where it doesn't hurt so much.