Mixed

emotions, mixed episode, up and down and all around. The result ~ feeling like an utter failure at pretty much everything; but mostly failure as a parent. I look around and it is evident that I'm not keeping up with my parental duties. Yesterday I should have gone to a parents brunch  at SDSU and support my son and I couldn't do it. I broke down at the thought of having face time with other parents and head honchos. Of course he was supportive as always while I broke down into an utter mess in his arms. The seal was broken and I was a disastor the rest of the day. Myy baby girls telling me things were going to be ok. Really what am I doing to these precious angels, these gifts that God gave me to protect and take care of. I try so hard to snap out of it but my brain doesn't want to cooperate. I feel like I'm losing the battle and at times I question what would be best for them.
This week I will fight. I will fight to live and not give up. I will be a good Mom and do all the little things that need to get done. I will love them and not make them worry. I will let them know everything will be ok. I will fight the doubt that always seems to creep into my mind. I will make this a good week.